Everyone knows that a person facing two spouse-less weeks needs plenty to read. With that in mind, I dragged my sister to Barnes & Noble for a reading-material raid that netted some magazines, a book of serious art, a memoir about Italy, and a history of American cuisine. I did not get the following book, but I’m so smitten with it, I may have to go back. To wit:
I included the full size snapshot, because you really have to see this to believe it. I don’t even knit, but I stood there in awe. Not only can you knit Queen Elizabeth II, which is probably in violation of some treaty, but you can knit her Welsh corgis, too, plus a slightly-sozzled-looking Prince Philip. In fact, everyone has some sort of smile, from the lobotomized (Prince Charles) to the insincere (Camilla). Prince William even has some teeth. I think they’re teeth; either that, or he’s not finished flossing.
Of course, William’s uniform is the wrong color here, but I’m sure an experienced knitter can render it in authentic red, thereby making him look more like the prince and less like the mailman. Ditto for Elizabeth, whose dress was yellow, I believe. (I also believe, and this has nothing to do with knitting, that QEII has only one hat, which she spray paints to match her outfits. The one she actually wore to the wedding looked identical to every other hat I have ever seen on her, even with the three too-small flowers stuck to it. If you’re the queen, why can’t you dress better? I digress.)
Maybe I will spend my time while Hank is in Zimbabwe learning to knit. I will knit the whole royal family. I will even knit Fergie’s daughters and I will make them hats like they’re extras in a Star Wars film. I will knit little outfits for William and Kate, so they can have a change of clothes now and then. I will knit a coterie of corgies, with little tweed coats and strange dog smiles.
Before this evening, I would never have longed to knit an Archbishop of Canturbury, complete with glasses, beard, weird hair, and creepy, off-center eyeballs. Now I can think of almost nothing else. As a coping strategy, this may be the best thing I have ever come up with. Fiona Goble, I can’t thank you enough!